J:  (to Aeryn) You said yes.
A: I did.
J:  60 days, any regrets?
A:  No, it's going really well.
J:  (to D'Argo and Chiana) Hey, we're gonna get married.
D & C:  Congratulations!
Not a Crichtonism technically, but a really cute line.  I'll start off by saying right now that John and Aeryn seemed really in sync throughout the mini.  Maybe it's because they were in tiny pieces and some of John ended up in Aeryn and vice versa.  Who knows. 

Eidelon Man: (to John) Begin again.
J:  Fine.  For the 89th time....once upon a time there was a boy named John and John was an astronaut.  He lived in a far away place called Earth which is so far away you've never heard of it.  One day when John was out doing astronaut things a big, blue wormhole gobbled him up and spat him out at the far end of the universe.  Things were looking grim in Mudville, till our hero met an amazing living ship, made some nice new friends, and he hooked up with his dream girl. We could've lived happily ever after, but the Peacekeepers raped, chased and tortured us for years on end. And two months ago, we got our asses shot off again. This time it was the Scarrans, big reptiles, oh! And Moya, our living ship, limped her way to your happy planet for a little R&R, because, we figure, it's empty! Hey, no one is gonna bother us -
(flashback to John and Aeryn on the boat)
J:  We're gonna have a baby.  (to Aeryn) Will you marry me?
A:  Yes.
(back to the present interrogation)
J:  Next thing, me and the future Mrs. Crichton are have a private moment when you guys fly by - boom - badda bing - squiggly line, squiggly line - crystalized and it's two months later. 
(The Eidelons look at each other skeptically)
J:  What?
"Once upon a time" is the traditional beginning for a fairy tale.  Continuing on the fairy tale theme, "a far away place" is pretty standard, i.e., the princess lived in "a far away kingdom."  "Gobbled him up" is also fairy tale-esque.  There was much gobbling happening in "Jack and Beanstock," "The Gingerbread Man," "Little Red Riding Hood," "Hansel and Gretel," etc.  Now things take a turn away from the fairy tale story.  Mudville is a reference to the 1888 poem (or song) "Casy at the Bat."  Mudville Nine is a fictional baseball team in that story.  Interestingly enough the poem is about the mighty Casey, the backbone of the Mudville Nine team.  They are down four to two and Casey finally gets up to bat with runners on second and third base.  The fans are counting on a win, as Casey, they're sure will hit a home run and bring everyone home....making the final score five to four, the Nine winning, obviously.  However, Casey strikes out and they lose.  I might be reading too much into this, but maybe John feels like Casey.  Carrying the Uncharted Territories on his shoulders, Scarrans and PKs pumping him for a wormhole weapon.  He knows he can't do it, but he could do it and ultimately, would it be a win or a loss?  I'm waxing poetic here.  I'll stop.  "Live happily ever after" is the traditional ending to a fairy tale.  "Badda Bing" is the name of a strip club in the fictional TV show, The Sopranos.  Again, not really a Crichtonism and probably not meant to refer to the Sopranos.  Now to the "squiggly line, squiggly line" and I'm at a loss.  Someone wrote and suggested it was a reference to Wayne's World, saying that at the end of the movie, Wayne and Garth do the same hand motion that John did in this scene and explore an alternate end to the movie. 

A: (about her pregnancy) I feel different.
J:  Different how?  Like ice cream cucumber different?  Everything is going to be OK.  Do you know why?  Because we're done.  We're checking out, finito, next Ferengi we see - we run.  No questions later. 
First off, ice cream (dairy product) and cucumber (technically, a fruit).   So fruit flavored ice cream, not that different, but hearing them put together like that doesn't really make me want to have any. Finito is Spanish, meaning "I'm done/finished."  John picked up the habit of speaking Spanish during his solitude in Crichton Kicks, the first ep of season four.  Now the Ferengi bit, Ferengi's are from the Star Trek universe.  I think the reference here is recalling them from ST: Voyager episode, False Profits, where the crew of Voyager, stuck in the Delta Quadrant, meet two Ferengi who traveled through an unstable wormhole seven years earlier and are now viewed as the Gods of a planet.  In the end, the Ferengi steal a Voyager shuttle and fly through the wormhole, back to the Alpha Quadrant, but in the process destabalize the wormhole so that Voyager cannot travel through it and get back home.   

J:  (to the Eidelon priestess)  Dearly beloved, we are gathered here -
A common beginning to weddings

J:  (watching the PK shuttle with Scorpius on it land on the water planet) Bet me?  Come on, D.  Bet me.  How much?
D:  You're on your own, my friend. 
J:  (seeing Scorpius and Sikozu) Easy money.

Harvey:  (about Scorpius) He does not play dice with the universe.
Cute line, and even cuter in the German accent.  We had someone write in with quite the explanation for this:  Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "God does not play dice with the universe."   And now I'm just going to quote the guy who sent this in (Thanks, Justin) "What Einstein meant is that the universe is amazingly grand and complex...and that the mathmatics of it could take lifetimes to figure out.  He was commenting about the complexities of both the large (the universe) and the small (sub atomic), afterall, Einstein did have to create the maths for quantum mechanics etc. The point of it all is, Einstein was saying that nothing in the universe is random, and that everything, down to the smallest sub atomic particle, is part of God's design...his plan. God does not leave things up to randomness (rolling of the dice). Harvey, quoting Einstein, was intimitating that Scorpious leaves nothing to chance, and has plans, within plans, within plans; and contingenices for everything. He does not just leave something up to chance.

(Harvey keeps raising his hand to the chalkboard, saying "zig hiel" in a very Nazi type way)
J:  (to Harvey) Listen up, Strangelove.
....John writes F*ck Off on the chalkboard
J:  (to Harvey about Scorpius) Make sure he gets that message.
I've never seen Dr. Strangelove, but was told that he raises his arm repeatedly in the movie, because his arm sort of had a mind of it's own.  This would be why John calls Harvey, Strangelove. We also had someone write in who actually studied this film and tell me that in the movie when everything goes to hell in a handbasket and the world blows up at the end of the film because an American general decides to send a B-2 bomber into Russian territory.  So this reference to Dr. Strangelove could be foreshadowing John's use of the wormhole weapon and everything almost going to hell. 

S:  So how have you been Crichton?
J:  I'm good, Bob.  You, the wife, the kids?
S:  Busy.
J:  Yea, I hear business is boomin'.

J:  I don't think the Peacekeepers are any better than the Scarrans.  So make sure you validate your parking on the way out. 
Here in the states, if we park in a large parking garage (never been in one) and then go shopping, say in a mall (certainly I never do that), if we buy anything (heaven forbid!) at a store we can get our parking ticket validated (I always forget) and receive a discount on the parking fees (dammit!). 

(Scorpius wants John to make him a wormhole weapon) 
J:  Say please.
S:  Please.
J:  Pretty please.
S:  Pretty please.
J:  With a cherry on top. 
S:  With cherries on top.
J:  Happy Birthday now get out of my site.
This is a pretty common exchange between little kids.  When you really want something you say over and over again...."pretty please with a cherry on top." 

(Noranti is explaining about the temple at Arnesk and is reminded that Aeryn wasn't there.  She'd left John as the end of Dog with Two Bones) 
J:  Right after I went swimming with the screature from the Black Lagoon.
A:  That sounds exciting.
We've already covered the creature in our Crichtonisms for What Was Lost, Part 1

A:  What happened to run first, no questions later?
J:  Scorpius.  We wake up and he finds us before we have out first cup of coffee.
I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty damn pissy in the morning if someone found me before my first cup of coffee. 

J:  Yea, we once thought my Aunt Ruth was dead.  You can't believe the stuff we found in her closet. 
I don't get this one.....it's a completely weird reference.  I mean if you thought Aunt Ruth was dead, and she wasn't, why would you rummage through her closet. 

A:  (pointing a pulse pistol at Rygel)  You are ruining my wedding.
J:  Honey.
A:  What?
J:  You're pointing a gun at the baby.

S:  This might not go as smoothly as you hope, Crichton.
J:  What, you don't do improv?
Improv is a form of acting wherein the audience or director gives the players a few words to work with or a general "framework" or game to play and the actors just go with it and make up their lines and moves on the spot.  The television show "Whose Line is It Anyway?" is improv at it's finest, most of the time. 

J:  (to Scorpius, after the shoot out has started and he's used Scorp as a shield) That's a damn nice set of body armor.  Does it come in blue?  (more shooting) What the hell'd you do when you left the following, steal the goose that laid the golden egg.
S:  I deserted my post.
J: It's amazing what a man'll do when he's in love.
The goose that laid the golden egg is from the fairy tale "Jack and the Beanstock," I believe.  So that makes two references to it in this ep.  John has fairy tales on the brain. 

(John and Scorpius are with Pilot, fighting the Tregans)
J: Well, other than being shot at by the Electric Mayhem, I'm fantastic.
I love this Crichtonism.  The Electric Mayhem is the name of the band on the Muppet Show.  The Muppets are a Jim Henson Company creation.  When I first saw the Tregans, I was thinking of a character from the Star Wars universe, Admiral Ackbar, and I completely missed this quote. 

J:  Surrender or die!
S:  You enjoy this don't you Crichton?
I'm pretty sure he does. 

J:  (to Scorpius) Alright, little boy, get ready to cover me.
This is interesting given that at the end of season four, John was calling his nuclear bomb, Fat Man, in reference to the bomb dropped on Nagasaki, Japan at the end of WWII.  Little Boy was the nickname given to the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima, Japan.   

On Arnesk, searching for the entrance to the temple, John sticks his finger in his mouth to get it moist and then puts it up in the air. 

Hierarch Yondalao: Are you assassin?
J:  No, I'm just the guy without a brain.  (to Stark) The lion here would like some courage.  (to Scorpius) Tin man, he needs a heart.  (to Rygel) Todo here just wants an easy birth and (to the young Eidelon, Pikal) Dorothy here, she is just looking for a way home.  Now we're not going to be here tomorrow so I suggest you take a long, hard look at our broomstick.  He is your heir. 
Yet another reference to The Wizard of Oz.  The Scarecrow didn't have a brain, the Lion lacked courage and the Tin Man needed a heart.  I don't think the dog, Todo was pregnant, but Dorothy did just want to get home.  She had the means, the ruby slippers, with her all along, just as John has the means to create a wormhole and go home whenever he wishes.