Crichtonisms

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Legend: J=John A=Aeryn D=D'Argo R=Rygel C=Chiana P=Pilot S=Scorpius Sk=Sikozu N=Noranti Guests=full name

Comments or Questions: Email Alex or Jenn

OK everyone, Jenn here, Alex and I decided to tackle this episode together. So this is me banging my head on the desk, popping an unhealthy number of aspirin and sobbing at the obscene number of Crichtonisms in this ep. Read at your own peril, I'm in a weird mood today.

You can email with suggestions now, but I warn you, I'm headed off for a 24 hour nap. :-)

Hey, now it's Alex, this is one Crichtonism-filled episode. It's almost as bad as "Crackers Don't Matter." Anyway, I added more comments, and now it's my turn for a nap.

4x20 - We're So Screwed, Part 2: Hot To Katratzi

First of all the title of this ep is a play on the term "hot to trot" which means "ready to go" or something like that.

R: This is madness!
J: Could be genius, Sparky. You know there's a fine line between the two.
John is referring to the saying that "there's a fine line between genius and insanity."

C: That's it?
J: That's it. Mankind's greatest contribution to the absurd, the thermonuclear bomb.
I'd have to agree with John on this one. A nuclear bomb would not only destroy the Scarran base, but John and all of Moya's crew would die, John knows he is risking everyone he loves by activating the device.

Grayza: What's that?
J: Plutonium core, tritium shell, does that translate?
Apparently, and in a very scary way considering how quickly they all start listening.

J: Nice threads. You must be the Emperor.
"Threads" is a slang term for clothes.

J: My heart stops, we all go boom. My heart speeds up, it's boom again. Too hot, too cold, too happy, too sad, thirsty, hungry, bored...It's John Lee Hooker time. Boom, boom, boom. And you try your little psycho trick, Kaboom! and we're all pushing up day-glo daisies.
Ahkna: Why do I doubt that?
J: Because you lack imagination
Emperor: What do you want?
J: What do I want? What do I want? I have not been chasing my ass all over the galaxy trying to remove a chunk of my brain. I have not been sneaking fembots and skreeths into the places I live. You want something. You want what I know about wormholes because I can leap tall galaxies in a single bound, I can scorch planets with a wave of my hand, and you can't do jack. You can't and you won't, but I have.
Emporer: Then why are you here?
J: Because I am an American! And what does an American what? Democracy? Capitalism! I want to sell out and settle down. For one day only, it's a blue-light special on aisle three. My wormhole technology and a free set of steak knives for all the tea in China and anything you can imagine to pay me.
Ahkna: Pay?!
J: Yes, pay! Cash!
Kalish Delegate: He's crazy.
A: Isn't it fun.
J: Welcome to my cold war; now, what am I offered for all the powers of the universe?
OK, going down the list in this one, there's quite a bit:

John Lee Hooker is a world renowned blues singer who passed away in 2001. The song "She Shot Me Down" aka "Boom, Boom, Boom" was one of his songs from "The Big Soul of JLH" album, which came out in 1962. For more on John Lee Hooker, visit the definitive website on him or you can visit the Boom Boom Boom club website
Day-glo daisies are a fixture of the 60's peace and love era. They are also featured in Alice In Wonderland. Alice runs through a field of day-glo daisies as the Cheshire cat looks on. To "push up daisies" is to be dead. The "glo" part could be a reference to the bomb John's wearing, meaning that if they die...they are all going to be glowing with radiation.You gotta love the way John combines these references.
Fembots, I believe are a reference to the Austin Powers world. The fembots were beautiful, female robots meant to distract the men just long enough to kill them. John is specifically referring to the Aeryn bialoid that the Scarrans sent back to him with the beacon for tracking.
"Leaping tall galaxies in a single bound" is a reference to Superman, a famous comic book and movie series.
"You can't do Jack" means that you can't do anything.
Obviously the word "American" confuses the Scarrans, but they get the idea that John wants something they don't want to give him.
Democracy and Capitalism are founding principles of the United States government.
To "sell out" is to give up your cause and to stop fighting for what you belief in and take the easy road
"Blue light specials" are a creation of K-Mart stores. A blue-light special announcement inthe store means that something is on a special sale for a few moments only. You follow the blue flashing light and find the sale item.
"A free set of steak knives" is a reference to the Ginsu knife infomercials on television. You buy the Ginsu knives and get a free set of steak knives for just three easy payments of $19.99.
There must be a lot of tea in China. :-)
And finally, "Cold war." The cold war was a tense period of political and nuclear struggle between the United States and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republic, the USSR. The two strongest world powers at the time talked tersley of getting along all while building up nuclear weapons stores and trying to beat the other in the space race. The Cold War started in the late 1940's and ended with the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991.

J: Anyone have any problems, phone home. Fat Man and I will throw our weight around.
"Phone home" is a reference to the movie ET: The Extra-Terrestrial. Fat Man is a reference to the nicknames for the atomic bombs used in warfare against Japan in WWII. Little Boy was the first nuclear weapon used in warfare. Fat Man was the second nuclear weapon used. For most of the episode I thought John was referring to D'Argo as Fat Man....but he's actually referring to the bomb.

G: Name your price, Crichton.
J: Aye, there's the rub. You see I can't figure out a way out of this situation, but the first side that does, wins.
"Aye, there's the rub" is a quote from Shakespeare's "Hamlet." It is part of the famous soliloquy which begins "To be, or not to be." "The rub" is sort of a conundrum for

. John wants out and yet he can't see a way out, so asking him to figure it out isn't going to work.

J: 1812, get that Scarran vacuum cleaner out of here.
A vacuum cleaner is a machine used to suck the dirt out of carpets. I think that was the most boring Crichtonism explanation I've ever written. LOL

Emperor: Refreshment? Chrystherium utilla, an acquired taste.
J: Streletzia, hummingbird feeder
Emperor: You know of our delicacy
J: Bird of Paradise, yeah, mom's garden, dime a dozen. Did you come all this way to discuss botany?
A: Or make an offer?
Bird of Paradise is a bird. :-) Most of them are confined to New Guinea. Spaniards in the 16th century coined the name bird of paradise when magnificent bird skins were brought to Europe aboard Magellan's ship, Victoria. That being said, Streletzia is a plant commonly known as bird of paradise. They have a very exotic looking blooms and look very much like the Scarran's chrystherium utilla. "Dime a dozen" is an expression which means very common and thus of little worth.

Emperor: Did you cause that wormhole to open?
J: No, no more freebies.
A freebie is something given ... drumroll please ... for free.

J: Nice pants. Hey Braca, you look a little lost.
A: Does mummy know you're here?
J: Does mommy know he's Scorpius's boy?
Braca looks shocked
J: Oh no, mommy doesn't know.
Mummy refers to Grayza....John and Aeryn are mercilessly teasing Bracca for being Grayza's boy, and spying on her for Scorpius. All I'm saying is the sex must be good. Oh, and the "nice pants" remark is a reference to those Levi's Dockers ads. Has anyone not seen one? I find them annoying.

J: That's a nice hat
Ahkna zaps John
A: Ahkna, don't!
Ahkna: What do you say? Too happy, too sad, too cold, too hot, let's see, hmmm? I know you have a real nuclear bomb, but I'm sure you can disarm it.
J: I would, but I can't...so I won't.
Ahkna: You're bluffing
J: So much for nuclear deterrents. Kiss your ass goodbye, Castro.
This is quite a fun scene considering Ahkna is being being played by Ben Browder's wife, Fran Bueller. Castro is a reference to Fidel Castro, the leader of Cuba. In April 1961, US president John F. Kennedy threatened Cuba in the Bay of Pigs incident. Kennedy threatened Cuba with force if he did not step down as leader, and end communism in Cuba. Fidel called his bluff and Kennedy ordered the attacks and then backed down, appearing the fool in the world stage. In the end Kennedy blamed the CIA and had three of the chief CIA officers fired after the Bay of Pigs. We've also had fans write in and say that the Cuban Missile Crisis could also have been John's reason for calling Ahkna, Castro, as the Cuban Missile Crisis did involve nuclear weapons.

Ahkna lets John go
A: You're mad.
J: Just played a game of chicken. Did I win?
A: Just, this time.
To play chicken to face someone down and see who flinches first. It is most commonly done in cars. Two cars drive straight at each other and see which driver swerves first to avoid hitting the other.

As John and Aeryn get on the elevator, John flashed the Vulcan peace sign at Sikozu and her friend.
The Vulcan peace sign, made famous by Spock on the original Star Trek series, means "live long and prosper"

A: Well.
J: Give me your hand, put it on my shoulder, come here, alright, stand on my feet.
Aeryn laughs
J: Comfortable?
A: Mmm, you?
J: Hold tight
John waltzes Aeryn slowly around the elevator
Insert a big AHHHH here....

In the Chrystherium chamber
J: No one around.
A: So what do you want to do to get noticed?
J: I got arrested once, in college, let me show you.
They sink to the floor
I've got my own guesses on this one, but I think it's best to leave John and Aeryn's law-breaking activities here up to our imaginations.

Emperor: Who gave you the codes?
A: What codes?
J: Codes? We didn't need no stinkin' codes.
Ahkna: You could not have accessed the cabin without the codes.
J: We didn't try to access anything. Some Charrids got off the elevator. We got on, we got off...well, we tried to get off, we got interrupted.
Yep, they certainly did get interrupted. OK, in my big research mode today, I looked up the "we don't need no stinkin' codes" quote. John is referring to Blazing Saddles probably, since we know he loves that movie. In the movie, the mexican bandit says "badges, we don't need no stinkin' badges." However, the phrase was originally used in the book "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre," originally published in 1935, on page 161 of the Modern Library edition. For a complete list of how many times the original badges phrase has been used, see the Stinking Badges Home Page. I continue to be amazed by what can be found on the internet.

J: While you're at it, give me Scorpius.
Emperor: You want Scorpius. Why? Is it beause he's going to give us what you're trying to sell?
J: No because hat lady is pissing me off and I want to piss her off. Tit for tat, call it a whim.
Hat Lady is referring to Minister Ahkna. Tit for tat is pretty self-explanatory....one thing for the other. A whim is a last minute, impulsive decision that you act on.

Grayza: I would like to make an addition to my offer.
John looks over her proposal
J: I'll have the Kung Pao Chicken. You want a Spring Roll?
Kung Pao Chicken....my favorite food. The Kung Pao chicken and Spring Rolls are common dishes served in Chinese restaurants.

John speaking over the comms
J: Guys, listen up.
A: They're bringing him now.
J: One riot, well-done, hold the mayo. Now!
LOL....John is ordering a riot sandwich! I think Subway ought to add that to their menu.

Sik: We're very close to a conflict now.
J: This ain't horseshoes or hand grenades. Now means now!
John is referring to the saying "Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades." In horseshoes, the game, the person who throws their horseshoe the closest to the stake wins the game. Hand grenades is a whole other matter....whether or not you die depends on how far away you are, how many seconds you have before it goes off and if you're lucky. John is ultimately saying that they don't have time, they need the riot.

Emperor: Now you tell me what else you really want?
J: When you wake up in the morning on your big emperor bed and you listen, what do you hear? Do you hear the little emperor birdies singing outside your window? Do you hear the emperor wind whistling throug the trees? Or do you hear people dying. Do you hear your friends begging for mercy. Do you hear doors being kicked in because people are hunting you. Do you hear the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. What I want, Santa Claus, for the rest of my life....I want to wake up like an emperor.
Emperor: Your safety guaranteed in just a few arns.
J: Bill Gates can't guarantee Windows. How are you going to guarantee my safety?
Yikes....I included all the text because you get a sense of John's desperation. Santa Claus brings children presents every Christmas Eve. He is also referred to as Kris Kringle, Pere Noel (Belgium and France), Dun Che Lao Ren (China), Babbo Natale (Italy), Ded Moroz (Russia), and Father Christmas (UK) to name a few. Here in America, Santa Claus is a big jolly guy who wears a red suit. The Emperor's got the suit color right anyway. As for Bill Gates and Windows....John is dead on with that Crichtonism.

After the Scarrans have given a tortured Scorpius to John and Aeryn
S: My appreciation.
J: My ass. Did you tell them? Wormholes, my brain, Harvey! What did you tell them?
S: Nothing.
J: Listen up. I am Johnny Radiation because of you, Nosferatu. Everyone I care about west of the moon is here and in danger to make sure that you keep your mouth shut. Now did you keep your mouth shut?
S: Yes.
I think we've covered Nosferatu, the vampire movie from 1922. "West of the moon" is probably a play on the term "west of the Mississippi" as many people still use it as a way to separate the United States. For example, my husband says I make the best cornbread "west of the Mississippi." High praise indeed.

John and Aeryn are arguing over who is going to kill Scorpius
J: You made me promise that I wouldn't.
A: Well, I release you from that promise.
J: Say that again.
A: I release you from that promise.
J: Thank you.
John points his pulse pistol at Scorpius and just stars at him for a few moments
J: (to Aeryn) I'll give you my bike if you kill him.
S: May I speak?
J: No.
A: No.
It's such a childish scene...I wonder if John and Aeryn rehearsed it beforehand or just improvised.

John speaking over the comms again
J: Guys, I apologize in advance for any incivility or insensitivity on my part, but it is beer-o-clock. Where the hell is my riot!?!
"Beer-o-clock" probably means that it's party time or in this case riot time. We have had someone write in and say that "beer-o-clock" is a saying from Stephen King's writings. I'm not a fan of his books or movies, so I don't know.

S: Where do you expect us to run?
J: We have a taxi waiting. First rule of piss-poor planning. Have your exit ready before your entrance.
Second rule of piss-poor planning, leave Scorpius passed out on the floor and run.

Bracca shoots a Charrid who was threatening Aeryn, Scorpius and John's escape
S: Bracca!
J: Yea, feel the love, Mr. Burns.
Mr. Burns is a reference to the Simpsons cartoon. Mr. Burns is the owner of the nuclear plant where Homer Simpson works. He treats his employees and the townspeople terribly, yet more misunderstood than evil, he somehow manages to come out on top. Insert Bracca as Smithers (Mr. Burns odd assistant) and Scorpius as Mr. Burns and you understand Scorpy's shock that Bracca helped them and John's comment.

Scorpius is worried about them being captured before they leave Katrazi
S: We could broker or bargain.
J: Where's your nerve, Grasshopper? Just stick with me. They ain't gonna pop Fat Man.
John means that they aren't going to risk blowing up the bomb. Little comfort when you consider what Scorpy risks.

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