2x05 - Picture If You Will

C: (about the painting) I think it can predict the future.
J: My Aunt Ruth can do that except she uses tea leaves.
Ah Tasseomancy. It is believed by some that the future can be predicted by gazing into the tea leaves left in the bottom of a tea cup. Here's a how-to guide for more information.

J: (to Chiana) Have you eaten, drunk, smoked, sniffed anything weird lately?
John's still hoping this is all some acid-trip I think.

J: (about getting rid of the painting) Zhaan are you cool with this?
Z: Yes, get rid of it.
Ah, yea....she's cool, she's hip....she's down.

D: John.... You've been a good friend. Whatever happens, it's been a pleasure knowing you.
J: D'Argo... Shut up! Have you never heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?
I have....my mother used to preach to me about self-fulfilling prophecy all the time. She says I caused my own migraine headaches....it's the reason I'm in therapy. :-)

J: Haven't you read the SuperVillain's Handbook? This is where you're supposed to twirl your mustache and gloat.
Ha Ha Ha....I've got you NOW!

Maldis: Have you forgotten? Fear makes me stronger. Fear and the terror of helplessness. These are a few of my favorite things.
J:Oh, could you do that 'Farewell Good-bye" song the kids sing? It's one of my favorites.
Maldis: I don't do requests!
The Sound of Music.....Julie Andrews sing to the kids about a "Few of My Favorite Things"

Maldis: (to John) Picture if you will....me standing on your home planet...
This isn't exactly a Crichtonism (more of a Maldisism), but I had to put it in since Maldis probably phrased it this way based on his reading of John's mind. The television show, The Twilight Zone, always began with the narrarator saying "Picture if you will...."

J: So, what do you think, Zhaan? That sum'bitch gone for good this time?
Z: With a being like Maldis, we can never be entirely certain.
J: Zhaan, this would have been a really good opportunity to lie to me. 'Sure, John, he's toast, strike him off your Christmas list, stick a fork in him he's done, he's over, the fat lady is singing....' It does not have to be true. But I certainly would have slept better.
"Sum'bitch" = son of a bitch
"The fat lady is singing" = It's not over until the fat lady sings.