2x04 -Crackers Don't Matter

Jenn and Alex's note: OK, we've never done this before, but we get more emails about this one episode than almost all the others combined. We've commented the heck out of the thing and quite frankly, wondering about all the references gives us the occasional nightmare. So following the example of Elton John, we are now officially "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" -ing this episode. Thanks!

J: Oh, great. So he's like one of those mechanics on 60 Minutes who says he's gonna help and then he screws us.
60 Minutes...an American news television show

J: You know, I once bought a set of knives from this guy on TV. Cat swore to me that-that they could-they could cut through bone, metal, shoes...hell, he could cut through my damn car and still dice tomatoes. You know what? He was lying.
T'Raltixx: I don't understand.
What else is new?

J: Bingo! Give Brainiac a fluffy dog.
Brainiac is the name of a villain with a huge brain in the Superman Comics.

J: Have you seen him? He's blind. He's got a big head, but he's blind. Barring the Yoda factor, if he gives us any trouble we lock him up.
Star Wars again...

J: (to D'Argo) Go back to your mountain, Grizzly, you're not wanted here.
Grizzly Adams....a popular, if a little silly, television show from the 70's

J: (To Chiana) Oh, yeah. I could give a squirrel's nut what you--
Perhaps another Southern metaphor?

J: Ionic radiation gives her photogasms. Unless she's faking it. I think she can do that, you know. Hey, Zhaan, you faking it?
If she is, she's as good as Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally."

P: Is there anything you do well?
J: Watch football.
Oh, come on John, don't be so modest. I can think of one or two other things he does well. Wear those leather pants for one.

J: Is that what this is all about? Is that it? (Pause.) Okay. Where's my ice cream?
A: What?
J: Where's my ice cream?
Rl: Savage, I know almost every food in the galaxy--
J: (Shouting) Where's my damn ice cream?!
R: I have no idea what ["Iza's"] cream IS.
J: Is that it, Sparky? Gonna take the road well-traveled? Gonna play dumb? (Singing.) I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! Baskin Robbins, Ben & Jerry's, Good Humor. What's your favorite -- creamsicle or fudgesicle? (Exits.)

Okay, there's a lot here

• "The road well-traveled" is a reference to Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken."
• "Playing dumb" is to pretend you know nothing in order to stay out of trouble.
• Baskin Robbins, Ben & Jerry's, and Good Humor are all ice cream brands
• Creamsicles and fudgesicles are two types of novelty ice cream bars made by Good Humor.

John comes upon D'Argo and Chiana planning to leave in the Farscape module
J: Gilligan and Mary Ann. Maybe you're Ginger -- I'd have to, uh, see you in a Wonderbra to know. Where you takin' the Minnow?
Gilligan's Island reference....

Aeryn & Rygel are hoarding crackers and preparing their strategy.
J: Hiya, kids. What's going on? Is this a...French Revolution type of thing?
I think the line is "Let them eat cake." not "Let them eat crackers."

J: Shut her down. Light, power, all--
P: I'm sorry, John. I cannot do that.
J: What?!
LOL, Pilots going all HAL 9000 on them.

Scorpius: Revenge is a dish best served cold, and you like revenge, don't you--
J: Shut up! (Pause.) I hate it when villains quote Shakespeare.
Scorpius: They're coming to kill you, John. We'd better get ready.
Okay, I'm not the only one who thought this was Shakespeare, but I'm having a devil of a time tracking this quote down in Shakespeare. Frankly, I've only found it attributed (as a translation from the French) to Pierre Ambroise Francois Choderios de LaClos from his novel "Les Liasons Dangereuses." (1782). We did have a site fan write in and say that this was a reference to Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country...as the Klingon villian quotes a lot of Shakespeare throughout the movie. As for the "they're coming to kill you, John" quote, we had a site fan write in and say that this sounded an awful lot like a line said in the movie "Night of the Living Dead." I've never seen the movie and I don't intend to just to research this, but I'll take our fans word for it, because we have the best fans out there. :-)

J: (to D'Argo) Try it, Medusa, try it. Down boy...roll over.
Medusa is a horrible creature of ancient Greek myth. She has snakes for hair and can turn men to stone with one look.

J: (to Chiana) My little black book...is all full.
It's a well-known cliche that bachelors keep the names and phones numbers of various women they meet in an address book known as their "little black book" oddly enough regardless of the actual color of the book.

J: (To Aeryn) That is fantastic...coming from a frigid, flat-butted Peacekeeper SKANK!

J: Nobody...(Aims both his blasters at Scorpius, while Aeryn looks on in confusion.) ...has margaritas and pizza.
A: Are you cracking up, little man?
Maybe he is cracking up, but he's still right about margaritas not going with pizza.

R: Let me go. I demand it, you miserable --
J: No one's going anywhere, not even to Disneyland. Not before we all have the breakfast of losers.
Disneyland ran an ad campaign for awhile with Superbowl winners that ran something like this:
The announcer -- "[Football player name], you've just won the Superbowl! What are you going to do next?
Football Player -- "I'm going to Disneyland!"

The "Breakfast of Champions" is Wheaties cereal whose boxes often feature sports champions' pictures.

This whole little speech just has to go in--
John: Woo! Ha! Have I got your attention NOW? Good. So, class. Today's assignment is...what? What? What? A brand new car! (CRICHTON turns around the bay door a la The Price Is Right, where "T'RALTIXX" is written in what looks like chalk.) No! It's T'raltixx! T plus R-A-L-T-I double X. T'raltixx. Since he came on board, we've been fighting about everything, including these. (Fires at another pile of crackers.) Now, I've been acting twisted, as well. Still am. Being seeing Scorpius like he's guest-starring on Hawaii 5-0. Huh -- how crazy is THAT? But -- I realized something. Frigging nuts I am, it's the pulsars affecting ME.
The Price is Right is a very long running game show on American tv.
Hawaii 5-0 was a police drama set in Hawaii. Scorpius shirt in this episode is Hawaii-print styled.

J: (to an arguing Aeryn and D'Argo) Look at you two Bozos.
Bozo was a clown. Later the name became associated with anyone stupid or ridiculous.

C: You've got the worst eyes out of all of us.
J: I got GREAT eyes. They're better than 20/20, and they're BLUE.
Have to agree with John on this one. mmm, mmm, mmm

John is all dressed up and smeared with paste ready to go defeat T'Raltixx--
John begins humming "Ride of the Valkyries" and poses like Luke Skywalker on a Star Wars movie poster.
A: We are going to die.

J: Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall. And all the King's horses and all the King's men....Hey, Zhaan. How do we take it all back?
Humpty Dumpty is a classic nursery rhyme. It goes like this:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.